Written in 2010-02-20 - Updated in 2010-03-01.
Copy of my last tutorial mail to the leader - Norma - and the group
The leader had changed the deadline to a few days earlier and only
notified me in the last minute, so I had to sit up until 4 AM doing this and was
dead tired. I had to go up at 6.30 to send my and husband to work, the children was
luckily on break or I would not even been able to have finished this tutorial in time.
There were alot of more important issues going on here then that, which over shadowed
the importance of PSP-fun with lightyears, and I had told Norma some of it, though
I never got any respons back from her about any of it.
----- Original Message -----
From: ibeoDesign
To: bestpalPSPGroup@yahoogroups.com
Cc: norma
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 3:53 AM
Subject: [bestpalPSPGroup] Angelica Tutorial 10
Hi,
My #10 with a night sky.
Hugs, Angelica
Image of the one I did, compared with the tutorial I copied:
Must admit mine looks NOT 100% like the tutorial, but I did things the tutorial writer had
suggested, like the bent arrows around the tent, and then I kind of wanted the trees more
treelike then they were done, and the sky more skylike. Guess that was very naughty of me.
Me bad.
Copy of the normal mail exchange with another member - Kat - about my work
Here I tell Kat it's 4 AM and things like that, and in retrospective, reading this,
I find her silence even more odd. She knows I must be dead tired after working all night
and not being able to sleep in as I have a huge family to take care of and still she jumps
the bully train with the rest. And she obviously does NOT agree I've made a big bobo,
as I'm later told by another member. I post her contribution to the tent tutorial here
as it's way wrong, just as the tent made by the member Malena was. Only one member made
the tent AND background correctly, but missed the arrows around the image, but then it's
the tent and other vectors that where the main point of this, not the background.
----- Original Message -----
From:
Kat
To: bestpalPSPGroup@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 3:55 AM
Subject: RE: [bestpalPSPGroup] Angelica Tutorial 10
Nice work Angelica. It looks very good.
:)
Hugs.
Kat
http://katradio9.com
Welcome to the
KatHouse
----- Original Message -----
From: ibeoDesign
To: Kat
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 4:01 AM
Subject: Re: [bestpalPSPGroup] Angelica Tutorial 10
Thank you Kat. And it's 4 AM so I better go to bed. It's
autumn break so no children to send to school tomorrow - just a husband.
:-)
Hugs, Angelica
Images of Kat's tent compared with the EXACT original:
Ok, I couldn't use the alternative sky colour, but Kat could skip the grass
under the tent, as there is none, and she could skip two trees. If you see any
more obvious diversions from the original be my guest. I think she did a great
job and I don't mind her skipping anything, but right should be right. Rules
should apply to ALL members.
Copy of another normal mail exchange to another member - Gin - after I know about my error
I go to bed for a short while and during that time the most talented member of the
group, Gin, writes me this. Obviously she has no idea either that I've just made
a huge unforgivable error and should be tossed out of the group. She actually is
praising my work and seems very content with it. So why did she jump the bully train
and had me tossed out for making this tutorial the wrong way? Beats me, so the reason
she joined the bullies cannot be that she thinks I did this the wrong way, which is
the only reason I've gotten so far for their treatment of me. As you see I tell her
here I'm sorry I made an error and she NEVER replies on this.
----- Original Message -----
From:
Darkdancer
To: bestpalPSPGroup@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 5:42 AM
Subject: Re: [bestpalPSPGroup] Angelica Tutorial 10
This is great Angelica. Super Job
Gin
----- Original Message -----
From: ibeoDesign
To: Darkdancer
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 7:20 PM
Subject: Re: [bestpalPSPGroup] Angelica Tutorial 10
Thank you Gin. Glad you liked it. Seems I made another
mess out of things so now I've worked all night for nothing.
Hugs, Angelica
Images of Gin's tent and the original:
This is well done and shows a keen artistic eye. Guess that is terrible slander too
as anything I say - praise or critic is equally horrible and evil. I love Gins graphics
and I still think its sad she's choosen to jump the bully-wagon, cause it's the easy
way out. And she obviously also have failed to do her graphics EXACTLY as the original,
as hers lack those pesky arrows around it.
Copy of both Malena's public mail and my first private answer to her
After the normal mails above from two member I get this very strange mail from the last member,
still not the leader. Who thinks she can speak for the leader and does so. I've copied
her first mail here and my first reply - where I offer to redo the sky. I got a very BAD feeling
from her mail below that she thinks she's leading the group and pulling the strings and as I'm
at that time still loyal to Norma I don't like it at all.
----- Original Message -----
From: angel_malena@yahoo.com Malena
To: bestpalPSPGroup@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 2:35 PM
Subject: RE: [bestpalPSPGroup]
Angelica Tutorial 10 (Angelica
Dear Angelica,
I want to say nicely done also.
But I need to say that when a tutorial has a second version
you must always do the actual tutorial one first (the one
shown in the header) and then the other one if you want to.
This will not make Norma happy. She wants us to stick
closely to the original in our first one.
Hugs, Malena
----- Original Message -----
From: ibeoDesign
To: angel_malena@yahoo.com Malena
Sent: Monday, October 26, 2009 7:23 PM
Subject: Re: [bestpalPSPGroup] Angelica Tutorial 10 (Angelica
Oh, sorry Malena. I thought since the both were at the top we
could choose either one. Will remember that in the future. Guess I will not have
time to remake it now if the deadline is earlier then normal this month due to
Normas operation.
Too bad things will make anyone "not happy" when concerning
having fun and making graphics. That really bothers me, as I think creativity
should be sprung from love and joy. So, if that is how things will continue this
will make me very sad. And every person is equally valuable and each persons
feelings is as important as the rest. That is my firm belief and I will never
budge on that. It took me all night making this, and if I did it only to make
somebody sad, I will not do any more.
I have lots of own groups I really should get going, I just
have no time for them either. :-(
Anyhow, Malena. I was very happy to hear you liked my
tutorial. Ment alot to me.
Loving hugs, Angelica
Image of the one Malena did, compared with the tutorial she copied:
So, if I could not do ANYTHING differently, how come she can change so much in hers? The flap,
the arrows, the inside with wrong colours and the rope is missing holding the sticks together.
The only thing I'd had to do, was to change the sky-colour. It would take 5 minutes on a graphic
that took me 6 hours to finish, but they would not have it. No pardon.
Copy of Malena's private mail and my respons, which she forwarded to Norma without hers
Here you can read that I got no respons to my offer to redo the sky. She seems to pretend
I never made it and keeps repeating what she already had said, which is that I'm being naugthy
and that the leader is going to get very upset with me now. She also says she does NOT want
me to leave. These mails clearly show that Malena is speaking for Norma and obviously
claims to have inside information on exactly what this leader wants her members to do
and not. So I decide I want the leader herself to make these complaints, tell me
HERSELF she's disatisfied with my work and me personally, and not from hearsay.
----- Original Message -----
From: angel_malena@yahoo.com Malena
To: ibeoDesign
Sent: Tuesday, October 27, 2009 5:12 AM
Subject: Re: [bestpalPSPGroup] Angelica Tutorial 10
(Angelica
Dear Angelica,
So sorry, sweetie. I did not mean it to hurt your feelings or make you
unhappy with our group. (Or with me)
But I was trying to warn you in a nice way that Norma wants our tutorials
done exactly as written. I sometimes will do two versions
and send them in together but the first one must be as written or you will
hear from Norma on it. This is not meant to stifle your creativity or fun
in doing them but it is one of the firm rules we must follow on the tutorials.
The goodies on the other hand are for us to play with and try to create
something with them. You are very good and all your efforts are lovely.
So please accept my note in the way I meant it, not to criticize but to let
you know you were doing something of which Norma would surely not
approve of.
Hugs, Malena
Image of Malena's Amaryllis NOT done with the right background:
Look very closely at her painted colours on her flower. The original is below with
darker colours and not like here - lighter. After looking even closer we found many
other diversions from the original. Several parts of the flower is in the wrong order,
for instance. I'd care less if it wasn't for Malena's complaints that I had to do
everything right or I'd upset Norma with my wrongdoings. Why isn't Norma upset with
Malena's wrongdoings? Or is Malena only trying to divert attention away from her
wrongdoings to make everyone focus on my mistakes?
Copy of my private respons to Malena's last private mail
As I find Malena's actions quite odd and hostile, I also try to tell her about myself,
as she seems to mirror herself instead of seeing ME. That is obviously taken as
an aggression by the whole group, who all seem to be a group of very narrow minded,
petty women, that can't see that someone from the other side of the earth, living
in a rural country area with mostly simple and honest people, are not at all trying
to pick a fight with anyone. Only trying to explain how I look at control, learning
and so forth as I'm not stupid and certainly nothing like uneducated.
----- Original Message -----
From: ibeoDesign
To: angel_malena@yahoo.com Malena
Cc: ibeoDesign
Sent: Tuesday, October 27, 2009 4:54 PM
Subject: Re: [bestpalPSPGroup] Angelica Tutorial 10 (Angelica
Dear Malena,
I totally understood you were trying to warn
me. But to the best of my knowledge I did do this particular tutorial
as good as I could exactly as the site said I should. So no creativity what
so ever on my hand. Just repetition, which is very bad. Parroting as a means of
learning is the worst ever way of learning. Taking hints and suggestions is far
better while mixed with the use of ones own powers of manifestation. But I
also understand it is how a tutorial-class is organized and promissed to do the
best I could when I re-joined, which I've done so far. If there is a problem I
expect straight forward warnings and concrete statements from the person who's
annoyed. Well ment warnings from others can be useful, but it
might still only be conjectures and is nothing concrete. As a living soul I would never allow constrictions from
stifle people to hold me back from my life mission. Our reality is fluid, vivid
and moving. We need to move with it to keep up with it, or be left behind.
That said I am in no way criticising you for trying to
warn me. I know you ment only well. And I know Norma has this terrible
operation to do and I truly feel for her. But she cannot help herself by trying
to control others. Controlling other free spirits will only hurt the one doing
the controlling, as those letting the control happen can say "no" anytime they
wish. It's always the controlled that have all the
power. You see Malena, I haven't been lazy these three years I was
gone from the graphics group. I got a spiritual mission and did alot of research
and studying. I have five full notebooks only with notes from lectures I did the
first months on matters concerning our reality and beyond.
Why I got that mission was cause I asked for
it. I was feeling utterly desperate cause I found no people in the
groups I was attending that understood anything I said. During the quest I
got in contact with hundreds of people who are like me. I am not alone, far from
it. I'd guess atleast 1% of the population of Earth are
here at this time only to rise the conciousness of this planet, cause
this world needs a facelift and it needs it fast and it needs it
bad.
My prayers and best wishes is of course with
Norma this day. Obviously many mails I send her personally never
comes through either. I get that when she writes in the group. I believe it
is her mailhost that puts many of mine in their spam-filter. This
happens to me when I send myself mails, that I never recieve them.
Also many mails from a few others to me have been gone amiss. On
another matter I must say I'd love to see all Norma's tutorial-attempts at
top of the page each month, so we could see how she did them. That would be
an excellent role-model to set. Perhaps you know why she will not share her
attempts? I understand she does not have time for doing much goodies
though. Neither do I as it turns out. :-((
I am so happy and grateful that Norma invited
me to the group once again and gave me the inspiration to start doing
graphics in PSP again. I've learnt so much in these two months, but I don't
always have time for 10 tutorials each month + 5 goodies every week. I told
her I'd give it a try when re-joining, but made her no promisses. I tried to
warn her I don't do authorities and only accept meeting others in love,
respect and equality, but that might not had been fully "grooked" as it's a very
alien point of view in the ways our world has been played up till now. When
I re-joined I got the impression the group was less tough
then in 2006, but I cannot see how that is when all the tutorials is
still there + the new goodies. Also the new vector tutorials are
much more time consuming then the ones we did back then. Perhaps I
missunderstood her, since english is not my natural language. Sometimes I must
write really funny things without knowing it.
I've loved speaking to you Malena and I love your
colourful creativity. Do never downtone your colourfulness - we need
more colours and expressions in this world, not less. Perhaps it's your
latin-blood? :-)) Actually it's been really fun
sharing with everyone and see what great things all do. You are
all very talented ladies with such unique and special styles. To me it's also
totally ok that we can't chat on the list. I always prefer talking one to one,
but I have no problem with all the mails of appreciation and thank yous. None
what so ever, cause I use Outlook Express and can easily go through the mail
without the hassle of for instance Yahoo-mail. I do not like Yahoo-mail or any
other internet mail-services.
Did I say I have 12 cats, 13 rabbits, 6
guinea-pigs? I used to have a rooster, my pet rooster, but the
neighbours dog caught him the other week. Guess it's that dog that has fed
on all my chickens - they are all gone now. I also have an over-time working
husband who expects me to do all the housework and taking care of our four
children, so all that ought to come in first place before playing with
graphics. It does not feel right to make lousy goodies either in lack of
time, but I guess all does it when time is short. Like putting on a frame on a
picture and it's done. That's a very quick way of fixing the problem with
goodies. Think I'll do that today.
Long mail I know - I just wanted you to see how I
felt. Of course I understand that you are trying to be kind to me
and that you are truthful that Norma might be upset with me. I've gotten
those "vibes" myself. You see, I'm kind of psychic and I always "know"
things that I could not possible know. Had hoped I was just having
a paranoia-attack. I prefer paranoia-attacks before people being
upset with me for no reason at all. Have had alot of that lately -
apparently all the intelligencia of Sweden got totally nuts on me for no
reason what so ever the other week when trying to help a friend to my brother.
People so can over-react due to the times we are in.
But on a deeper level it's not me or other
little things that really upsets people. With Norma it's more
likely things like the operation and stuff. Most upsetness in this world
are projections by the psyche to avoid dealing with it's own worries and
putting the blame on others "missbehaving". Like I said when joining I will
respect any group-owner as long as they are clear and honest to
me. I'm a beautiful soul and so are we all if we only let ourselves be.
Just the fact we're doing graphics shows our potentials as creative beautiful
beings. So don't be worried I will leave - things always come and go;
flowers and grows and wither. I'll stay a little while though, if let, and then
when I feel the spirit calling I'll be going on another walk.
Loving hugs, Angelica
http://vetteljus.org - Vetteljus - my main
portal for all my under-worlds.
http://www.youtube.com/user/ibeoluna -
IbeoLuna - my youtube account.
http://vetteljus.blogspot.com -
Vetteljus blog - my own blog.
http://www.root-top.com/topsite/vetteljus/ -
Vetteljus toplist - my own toplist.
(Then there is 6 groups and 28 webrings of mine that is older
then the above.)
This is the lovely Amaryllis tutorial how it's to be done EXACTLY:
Look very carefully at this picture. The background is WHITE. I did mine with
a white background - look below to see for yourself. And I did the flowers very
alike these ones. Just keep scrolling down and look where
my two red Amaryllis are. I'm proud of how well I did this.
Copies of non-related mails I sent AFTER that one, all privately to Malena
Malena NEVER replied to all my questions, which I found very rude as she was the one
starting this bickering and I wanted her to know that I don't come from a bickering
and petty viewpoint, as she obviously does. I wanted her to see I work in love and
understanding and wish to comprehend other peoples attitudes and see they are mostly
trying their best to do their best and that no one should be put down for not being
able to do things as perfectly as another. People make mistakes, and that's not the
end of the world, as Malena seems to think as I could not redo the sky according to her.
I found that silly and would not accept that Norma was that petty and mean, which she
unfortunatly later turned out to be, so Malena was totally right about Norma and really
truly wanted to warn me about what a petty leader that group has.
----- Original Message -----
From: ibeoDesign
To: angel_malena@yahoo.com Malena
Sent: Wednesday, October 28, 2009 1:36 AM
Subject: Re: [bestpalgoodie_group] Malena-Goodie 6-Beautiful Pink
Love this graphics with the little fairy girl dancing on that
pretty frame. Looks really neat all of it Malena.
Hugs, Angelica
----- Original Message -----
From: ibeoDesign
To: angel_malena@yahoo.com Malena
Sent: Wednesday, October 28, 2009 1:37 AM
Subject: Re: [bestpalgoodie_group] Malena-Goodie5- Beautiful Fairy
Another beautiful piece. Great frame, guess you used the image
for that one. Fits so well.
Hugs, Angelica
----- Original Message -----
From: ibeoDesign
To: angel_malena@yahoo.com Malena
Sent: Wednesday, October 28, 2009 1:38 AM
Subject: Re: [bestpalgoodie_group] Malena-Goodie 8-Elephant
Good solid frame for the elephant. Colours are just right.
Hugs, Angelica
Images of the Amaryllis I did in both red colours:
Remember that this is the THIRD vector graphic I've done in my whole life.
And, Norma only published the "wrong" one of these two, that is the dark red.
Which made me write this in the mail to Malena, after she claimed Norma was upset with
me not doing the "right" version, and ask if Norma had missed the light red one.
Malena NEVER replied on that mail, which is after the one Norma used to excuse
her tossing of me.
Copy of my last mail before Norma tossed me out - also sent privately to Malena
Here I also mention the Amaryllis flowers you saw above, as Malena's words doesn't
fit how Norma reacted when I sent in those two. But as I don't believe Malena is
lying I think there has been some kind of mistake here, as once when I sent Norma
an attachement of a font she only replied a thank you for letting her know the NAME
of the font, and nothing about me sending her the font itself. Which I took that she
didn't see it, and I didn't want to point that out so I said nothing. In another mail
Norma bragged she never sent out the same goodie twice, but in the very same mail
she had attached the same goodie twice. So knowing how annoyed she could get with
Yahoo, I thought Malena was right that she could get really annoyed with her members.
Also, I had gotten mails from Norma complaining about the other members, just as
Malena insinuated she had gotten about me.
----- Original Message -----
From: ibeoDesign
To: angel_malena@yahoo.com Malena
Sent: Wednesday, October 28, 2009 12:17 PM
Subject: Fw: [bestpalPSPGroup] Angelica Tutorial 10 (Angelica
Hi Malena,
Did you not get my reply mail? It's below if you haven't
received it. If you have and replied I haven't received your reply.
I have another question for you - one that does not add up to
what you wrote to me. On the tutorial page Norma had added the dark red
Amaryllis, not the bright red, which was the one on the top of the tutorial.
If only the bright red was the correct one she ought to have
added that one. Right?
Since she used the darker one she does not seem all that
obsessed as you make out. Still, you know her better then me, so the second
thought that came into my head this morning is that she never saw the bright
red, which was attached in the same mail as the dark one, and got annoyed with
me for doing the "wrong" one but refrained from saying so to
me. If you could shed a light on this riddle or on
anything of the below ones I'd be happy.
I hope the operation went just fine and all is well with Norma
today. When she's back I hope she can answer my questions herself and then we'll
see if I feel it's worth while doing this.
Think I've learnt so much this second round on PSP I might be
able to stay in line in the future and not like before forgetting to use the
program. You know, I didn't use it for 3 years after leaving PSPpals last time.
I left for two reasons - it took too much time and someone in
the group was making complaints about me to Norma behind my back.
I was told not to do graphics that would upset them, but I did not
know what kind of graphics that was so it felt really unpleasant and I
could feel how I lost energy over it. Negative energy, threats and
agressiveness really feels like sticky glue when it hits you mentally. So I
left.
Loving hugs, Angelica
A flying pig I've made in my own group:
Due to the flying pigs scam going on at the same time as these women decieded to
treat me like dirt I felt this vector graphics was fun to draw in my own group.
Unfortunatly about 80% of our beautiful children now already are injected with
the toxic, and as they didn't fall dead after the shots their gullible parents
think all is well. While warnings from people like me are laughed at. That is
that those shots will have longterm effects, like cronic illness in adulthood and
infertility. Nothing to worry about? I think it is.
© ibeoDesign Vetteljus.org - All text above is copyright me, as is all my graphics.
The graphics not mine is used only for demonstration purpose. The four black witches
of the PSP-group I want to inform that I live on a very strong vortex-center linked
to Stonehenge and on to the whole world and that as a witch of the powers of nature
I have on this page added an ancient spell against all enimies returning illwill to
the sender. If they feel like my enimies they are in severe problem. ;-)
